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  • Writer's pictureRene Caruso

Losing Perspective, Regaining Balance



I was in the front row flowing from plank to upward dog. As I looked up and into the mirror, my right shoulder shuddered. Pain shot through me, knocking me to the floor. It was all I could do to keep from puking.

I made it out to the lobby and sat on the bench, my shoulder was killing me! I tried to lift my arm and ended up passing out on the bench.


X-rays indicated a lot of damage. The doctor then ordered an MRI. It was worse than expected. The words "massive tears" got my attention: complete rotator muscle detachment, two torn ligaments, and a muscle tear. Apparently, this had been brewing for a long time. I hadn't had any pain or movement issues, but below the surface, I’d been stressing my muscles past their limits.


Two surgical consults later, the prognosis was to live with the pain until I couldn't anymore, then opt for complete shoulder replacement.


All the things I love and would no longer be able to do—yoga, handstands, dead hangs, burpees (okay, nobody loves those!). The doctor said there’s plenty I can still do; I just have to realize my right shoulder will no longer be a weight-bearing joint.


 

Exactly 31 days later, I was called into an afternoon meeting with the owners of the longevity clinic.


They both looked uncomfortable. The medical director just said, "This is really hard, we can’t afford you any longer."


My contract had come to an end after two years.


I know all consultants eventually get let go, but I helped build this place.


I love what I do and I poured my heart and soul into making this place work. How could I be done? How could this place run without me? What about the clients? The systems and processes I established from the ground up are so it can run without me, but still.

I worked six, sometimes seven, days a week. I took calls from clients day and night. Clients had my personal cell number so they could always reach me—that’s what it takes to build a concierge practice. I’d get up at 4:30 am to get a workout in so I could be at the clinic early.


I sent my husband a text message: I’d been let go, my contract came to an end. Just like that.

I was stunned, numb. After all the work I’d done, all the relationships I’d cultivated, the hours devoted.


I arrived home and fell into my husband’s arms. WTF?!


That evening my mom called.


They’d just left the doctor’s office and wanted to have a conversation with me and my husband. I put her on speaker. She needed emergency open-heart surgery. Could I be there and stay to help with her recovery?



 



It’s crazy how many seemingly unrelated events form a pattern when you look back on them…


My professional and personal life have been out of balance for a while - my husband had been telling me...asking me...how could I keep this up?


But I didn’t see it.


I just kept saying it would balance out in the future. Right now, “we’re” building something. It requires all that I’m giving and doing…



End part 1

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4 Comments


michael rotier
michael rotier
May 21

The world has so much to share with you. This is just a pause in life to give you time to refocus! All the best always!

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Rene Caruso
Rene Caruso
May 21
Replying to

Thank you Michael, I appreciate your support and encouragement.

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Susan LePage
Susan LePage
May 20

I can’t wait to see what kind of new future you create for yourself…I know it will be amazing and fulfilling! And because I love you, and want to be totally supportive, I’m willing to give up burpees too🤣🤣🤣

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Rene Caruso
Rene Caruso
May 21
Replying to

Thank you GF. We've been through many challenges in our lives and I look forward to what's next!

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